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A couple of my all time fave lines –


Kabhi kisi ko muqamal jahan nahi milta

Kahin zameen nahi to kahin aasman nahi milta

I think these lines describe life perfectly and in a good way at that…life is a search for that “muquamal jahan” which in all probability does not exist…

I love my life and the search that it is…

...

Life has become too tough...I want a break...

Not for family viewing...

So I had some problem with my car recently. Particularly there was some noise in the gear box especially in the first two gears. When I gave my car of servicing last week I particularly told the mechanic the problem and he assured me that he would look into it. When he returned my car and I asked him he said there was a lot of dust which had accumulated in the gear box which was causing the problem and they had fixed it now. A couple of days ago I again heard the noise and called the service station. The mechanic has the cheek to tell me –
1. Such noise comes sometimes

2. You must not have pressed the clutch properly

The bloody bastard assholes motherfuckers that (most) men are think that no woman in the world can tell what’s wrong with a bloody car and they can get all condescending.

Even after living for thirty years I can’t for the love of my life decipher such baseless arrogance that a bloody second class pass mechanic, a man, can dish out to me when rest assured I will know more about a car’s mechanism then he will ever in his stinking futile moronic life.

Jhootha hi sahi...

Currently tripping on...

Mujhe chhod do
Mujhe thaam lo
Kho jaane do
Mera naam lo
Sab theek hai
Ho jayega….

........

Mujhse zara baatein karo
Halki zara raatein karo

........
 
ek dost ka chehra
ya phir naquaab do na....

Yay...

Off to my fave city during Diwali and yes it is Delhi...inspite of all odds I just love Delhi at Diwali time...its just so festive...all the lights, sweets and even crackers...its all to die for... and i am going to Delhi for Diwali i think after almost 7 years :)

Sometimes i wish life would give me a second chance...so that i can have with me all the people i love and i could say to them...

तुम्ही से हैं मेरी नींदे

ना भी हो तो क्या

तुम्ही से हैं मेरी  बातें

ना भी हो तो क्या

कहने दो तारों को कहानी अनकही

ना जा अभी...  

(Euphoria)

Tum Pukar Lo...

Tum pukar lo, tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo
Khwaab chun rahi hai raat beqarar hai
Tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo
Honth pe liye hue dil ki baat ham
Jaagte rahenge aur kitni raat ham
Muqtasar si baat hai tum se pyaar hai
Tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo

Dil bahal to jaayega is khayal se
Haal mil gaya tumhara apne haal se
Raat ye qaraar ki beqarar hai
Tumhara intezaar hai...

My new writing desk…

I am a proud owner of a writing desk :) It’s not huge or new. In fact it is this compact thing, really old styled just enough for me to keep my laptop on and work. It’s terrific and I love it. Having never owned a writing desk all for myself earlier, I am smiling from ear to ear for this one.
So that’s what has brought cheer to my week. That and chants that I repeat to myself a dozen times a day – “This too shall pass”…Its only temporary, this state of being actually not the state of being but the demons in my head…sometimes I wonder should I be so self critical and self analytical…I mean I know there is a completely different world inside my head but does that I mean I blame everything on that…my world is my perception of reality just like everyone else’s…

Let me for once stop justifying things around me with my reality… let’s give the demons some rest…for the time being till they come back and devour me…

The root cause of it all – the sense of being abandoned that I live with day and night. In spite of all the philosophy I have read, all my experiences, all my understanding of the self and the other, this feeling forms the basis of all my other feelings and I mean all. And I don’t think there is any way I can get rid of it. It’s too much a part of me. But what hopefully I should be able to do over years is detach myself from it for small intervals…and hopefully over time those intervals will start getting bigger. (Of course it would be helpful if I find kindred souls along the way, who understand my state of being who are empathetic…but I am doubtful at least till the time I learn to empathetic)

When I started writing, I had a list of things I wanted to write about, but having written what I have written, I don’t think there is any point in writing anything else – all else is just rants and cribs and cries for attention…

So here’s “To longer intervals”…

Festivities...

So festive season is in again...I normally love this time of the year especially if you are in the northern part of the country...its winter mist, lights, crackers, sweets and good food...love it all...as if there is warmth in the air...

But this year...it all seems subdued...well i guess it begins with being in the wrong part of the country followed by a trail of other wrongs...

Home...

The place I stay is home...not Delhi, Mumbai or any city around the world...the city I live in currently is the city which is a part of my consciousness and is home :)

Nights of Cabiria...

Can there be a movie more innocent then this? Can any actress act a part with so much honesty as Giulietta Masina playing Cabiria?

Words cannot do justice to describe the way Fellini and Masina have captured the soul of Cabiria in this master piece. The beautiful, innocent Cabiria…through all the façade that Cabiria presents in the movie, you get glimpses of her actual self, be it the pure enchantment with which she touches the face of a famous actor who picks her up from in front of a restaurant, or when she breaks down in front of Virgin Mary asking her to bestow her grace on her…or when she talks to an imaginary lover under a trance… or when she goes for confession to Father Giovani, even sometimes when she is with Oscar, the man she thinks loves her. Her childlike innocence radiates out of face and fills your heart.

Sometimes I wonder, could Masina ever be herself after being Cabiria. Of all his characters, Fellini once said, Cabiria was the only one he was still worried about.

Every time I watch this movie my heart weeps knowing what awaits Cabiria. But still I watch…just to see her get up after Oscar vanishes with her money…just to see her smile in the closing sequence. It’s as if God is smiling through her.

Friends...

I am not a group person...I can barely manage to interact in a group...I rather like to sit quitely and observe people...Its always a stretch for me to be extremely social...

But friends...thats completely different...I love my friends and believe in them...I always think they deserve the best and they are the best...and there are times when what they say\don't say hurts me a lot...but still for me thats always temporary...i always go back to being with them because I love them...but off late I have noticed thats its just me running after these relationships...it doesnt matter to them if I am a part of their lives or not...

So I have decided....to stop running...no matter how much it hurts...at the end of the day its "Free Will"...

My Song...

Lots of posts I want to write about - travels, my element, water, blogs and so on. But this one is dedicated to the song that is me...

"Moon River"

(music by Henry Mancini, lyrics by Johnny Mercer, sung by the most beautiful Audrey Hepburn)

Moon River, wider than a mile,

I'm crossing you in style some day.

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,

wherever you're going I'm going your way.

Two drifters off to see the world.

There's such a lot of world to see.

We're after the same rainbow's end--

waiting 'round the bend,

my huckleberry friend,

Moon River and me.

हिसाब...

एक पहर की बात है यह
या चार पहर, कुछ पता नहीं...
हिसाब कर रहा था वो मेरे सामने
जाने क्या लिखा था उसकी किताब में
उसकी कलम से नज़र हटती ही नहीं थी
आखिर बेताब होकर मैंने पूछ ही डाला...
क्या लिख रहे हैं जनाब
वो मुस्कराते हुए उंगलियाँ गिनने लगा
मैंने फिर कोशिश की...
मैं कुछ गिनती करूं
उसके चेहरे का ताब कुछ अलग ही था
वोह मुझे ऐसे देख रहा था
की मेरे दिल की गहराई पिघल कर उसकी हथेलियौं में समा गयी...
मैंने फिर से उसकी किताब में झाका तो,
उसने खुद ही अपनी किताब मुझे सौप दी
मैंने देखा...बड़ा अटपटा सा लगा...
अरे इस हिसाब में तो कुछ नफ़ा ही नहीं,
सिर्फ नुक्सान ही है मैंने पुछा,
मुझसे क्या पूछ रही है पगली...
मैंने कोई गलती नहीं की जोड़ने में...
तेरे ही दिल से पूछ...
उसी की ही तिशनगी का हिसाब है...

Ravana

I have often wondered about the story of Ramayana. What was the need for Ram to traverse the entire subcontinent to kill Ravana. Unlike Mahabarata which has everything grey between the black and white spectrum, I have always seen Ramayana as a black and white story which life never is, very unlike the other Hindu mythological stories and fables.

The recent Mani Ratnam movie Ravana led to a very interesting discussion with a dear friend and I got to hear a very interesting version of Ramayana.

According to this version, Ravana was told by an astrologer a daughter will be born to him and Mandodari and that daughter, if she stays in the royal palace, will bring about the downfall of Ravana. As a result of this, when a daughter was born to Mandodari, his favorite queen, she was declared still born and sent away where she was buried under ground.

This girl was found by the king Janak and adopted as his own child and she grew up to become Janaki or more popularly ‘Sita’. Through out life Ravan kept close tabs on Sita out of concern for her. Finally the girl married Ram and as luck would have it was exiled and was destined to spend strenuous life in the forest. Ravana could not bear the thought of his daughter living such a life and ignoring the prediction had her brought to the palace. Nobody including Mandodari and Sita knew the truth.

Ultimately Ram had to attack Lanka to get back Sita and as predicted the daughter led to the father’s downfall.

This version instantly resonated with me more then the version of Ramayan I have grown up hearing. No one is wrong yet no one is right. Ravana in his shame and fear of disappointing the wife he loved so much did not tell her the truth, yet he tried to do what was best for his offspring. Ram unaware of the relationship between Ravana and Sita had to get back his wife from clutches of the king. Sita who had no idea of her birth prayed for the downfall of the man who abducted her.

So is life. Everyone is right from where they stand and more often then not the root cause of all conflicts is half baked information and our egos that stop us from acknowledging the truth.

Books and Me...

Reading and books is essentially what I am and what my life is about. Everything else is secondary. What makes up my thoughts, where I find solace, what my dreams are made of are all in the books I have read.

But now I don’t read as much as I used to. The reason is not that I am busy or don’t have time or have better things to do. Its way more fundamental than that. Every book I read becomes in some way a part of me. I think about it. It forces me to reflect. It’s almost like a living organism that morphs my thoughts such that they take a new shape and structure. All this most of the time causes a lot of dissonance and angst. After all I am not living the life I would ideally live; it’s not even close to what best I can be.

So the pile of unread books is growing in my shelf day after day. These days I am terrified of picking up a new book. I who was as impulsive as one can be, not afraid of change, not afraid of doing what I want to do has turned into this terrified, cornered individual finding safe haven in old and experienced much like my reading.

Is this what they call growing up…

Movies

http://manymorewoods.blogspot.com/2010/06/thirakkatha-screenplay.html

Strangely upset...

Sometimes life merely reduces to here and now...and at that instant no matter what you have, its not enough...i am unnecessarily very upset.

Monday blues...maybe

Sometimes no matter how much you do, its not enough. And its not that you cant do more, just that you seem to hit a brickwall or rather a blackhole...beyond which there is nothing.

So what are the odds...

The same bug not once, not twice but thrice in six months...

and its defintely not the love bug...grrrrrr

And these are some of my favorite things…

So as I was mentioning earlier, I went to the astrologer. One very important thing he said was that all you want is “to be happy”.

And I realized how true it is. That was how I live my life. Yeah at times I do get bogged down by petty stuff or past or meanness but overall I just want to do things that make me happy.

Since this is my blog I can be narcissistic and list some of those things here :)
1. Travelling
2. Driving
3. Friends (whom I have been missing a lot recently), being home at mumbai with my cousin and manu
4. Writing and books
5. Beaches and water
6. Good food (and seafood at that)
7. Movies
8. A good cup of tea (with ginger)
9. Lately, hits on my blog :)
10. Good @#$% (now it’s a family blog ;) and yes its way up in the list)

To predictions and future…

So I finally gave in to the madness and went to see an astrologer. Yeah I did! Not that I am superstitious, infact I am the exact opposite. But for some reason I want to believe in astrology (ok I exactly know why but that’s digressing). I still don’t know if I actually do. But since I could not find any solace anywhere, I went to meet this old chap my friend had recommended all the way across town. All he asked me was my name, DoB, time and place of birth. I was actually shocked with the facts he told me about my life, my family and past relationships. And as for my future, let’s say it’s reasonably good :). Not the usual mom and dad and family saga, but still happy.

Overall I am more at peace, so I guess true or not, it was definitely worth it.

Abandoned...

So this is how this feels.

I almost abandoned this blog today. But I realized thats not me. I might delete people from my world after umpteen tries but I will never abandon them.

So heres to my fave quote - "This too shall pass"

Life...

Sometimes I wonder what life is all about. Why do I live? Yeah I know, I suffer from existential angst. I wish I was Milan Kundera than at least something good would come out of this angst. But alas!

I seriously fail to understand what keeps me hoping? I can safely say every one of my relationship whatever the kind be has been a failure. And my God knows I have loved all the people in my life with all that I have. So what do I look forward to? Even I don’t know.

A new start...

http://manymorewoods.blogspot.com/

...

Looks like I am gonna be stuck in bangalore forever :(
I am so depressed...

I wonder...

In the middle of the night I wonder…
About the office politics…
I wonder about the badminton tournaments…
About the traffic jams…
About the friends and drunken binges…
About tiffs and pet peeves…
About the drives, about the movies…
About you…

.....................................

(The song is not too great...but i was going to write something similar when i chanced upon the lyrics...hence reproducing below...)

Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can’t fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

...

Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door.
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

...

Artist: Lady Antebellum
Song Title: Need You Now

(http://lyricsmusicvideo.blogspot.com/2009/08/lady-antebellum-need-you-now-lyrics.html#comment-form)

Black Wind

By Deepti Naval...

((Just the conversation I have with myself...every single day...))

Anxiety grips me with both hands
Spiked claws dig deep into my soul
I gasp for breath and stagger around
Sharp corners of my single bed
A dark belligerent sea rises in anger
The night has a deadly mission, I can see…

I will not succumb to its ghoulish lust

Pull the shutters down!
Block all sound;
Slam it out!
Clamp it!
Not in here, it can’t get to me!

The telephone rings …no, it stops .

God damn! Why don’t anyone speak?

A voice,
Just a human voice !
In this shameless, pitiless
Abyss of the night –

Gloom deepens into darkness, turns purple
I feel dark inside

They are here, they drive me
Dark shadows in my room

‘Go jump!

One leap across the railing -
That’s all it takes!

Rain slashes down my window,
Beats it blue!

A dagger pierces the gut, my sanity reels
‘Yes .. . one leap . . . that’s all . . . I know!’

‘Do it! Have the guts! Jump!’
Demons from the sea
Stalk towards me stealthily…
I lurch back and grapple for reason

‘. . . but… my life . . . my art . . . ?’

‘Rotten life! Rotten art! Rotten relationships!

Strip every moment to stark nakedness
Think hard, debate! Why should you live, why?’

Hurled in a corner, I live and relive my life
Closing in on me, inch by deathly inch -
Vicious, spiteful beings
Hissing . . . hissing . . .

‘Your life’s a mess! End it!’
‘Yes . . . I . . . I. . .’

‘A snake pit! That’s what the world is! Quit!’
‘But I have books, friends… my music . . .’

Laughter hollers! Like wind’s unbeaten track!
‘Hypocrisy! Masks! People tearing people!’

‘But there’s my work…’

‘Pressure, competition, failure! An endless struggle!’

‘I’ll survive’.

‘Need the killer’s instinct! Have it?’

‘There’s bougainvillaea… and long distance calls…’

Ha!
`…mountains . . . movies . . . monsoons . . .’

‘Escape . . . escape . . . escape . . . ‘
‘Van Gogh’s cypresses, and … evenings in hills’

‘You’ll never learn!’
‘Mustard fields…and, . . . motherhood?’

‘Bad dreams! …Give it up!’

‘There’s memories and .. . letters home’

‘ Emptiness! Loneliness! End it now! End it!’
‘Making love . . .’

‘Making what? Everyone uses everyone!’

‘There’s hope… isn’t there?’

‘It’s a four letter word! End it now, you worm!’
‘ . . . and faith?’

‘Regret! Shame! Guilt!’
‘Love’

Futile . . .’

‘God?’

‘Guilt! Guilt!’
‘STOP IT . . .! ! !’

A black wind howls through the wet marsh…
The sea witnesses an undefended siege –

I will survive this night, its deathly design ;
I will fight!

The world’s a snake pit, so let it be!
I dare the devil to get the better of me!

Night of July 28, 1991
Poem completed on August 26, 1992)

(http://www.deeptinaval.com/poet-BW-blackwind.html)

Ankahee...

Saw this beautiful and intense movie today. Ankahee. Starring Amol Palekar and Deepti Naval had won a national award in 1984.

The movie quintessentially talks about the part destiny plays in our lives. How much of our life is our own and how much of it is preordained. In the movie the educated protagonist struggles to find a way out of his father’s (also an astrologer) doomed prophecy which threatens to tear his world apart. He believing his father's predictions loves one woman but marries another. The movie explores the murky space where faith transcends into superstition. Something most people struggle with. I have seen educated engineers from my college turn around when black cat crosses their path and highly qualified doctors run to the nearest astrologers to sort out their kid’s future. Like the doctor in the movie whose patient’s eminent death is predicted by the astrologer says – what is the point in living and inventing if every second of our life is writ in stone? Why bother at all?

On a parellel note the movie also delves on the existence of free will primarily through the choices the girl (whom the protaganist does not marry) makes or is forced to make. How people under the garb of duty, love, pity, guilt and other such varied emotions push people to act against their free will.

Deepti Naval delivers a stellar performance as an innocent village belle struggling with her demons. The story in itself is powerful but Deepti Naval takes it to a different level. Amol Palekar is a superb story teller but the credit of this movie goes to the writer and Deepti Naval.

The last line of the movie actually summarizes it all –

Zindagi har kadam par aadmi ka apna chunaav hai…

Know thyself...

Good sense prevailed when i deleted the number...else i would have called for sure today...like i did so many times...

And another one of those...

Some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories...
But, that doesn't make them any less filled with love...

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Auld Lang Syne ...

Was watching SATC the movie...love the song...

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

.....................

My heart melts...and i want to be the drop of rain that falls on the fresh green leaves and disappears...

Travel plans...

Places I want to visit closer home:

Tanjore
Munnar
Bekel
Thekkady
Madurai

Anyone interested?

आईना...

आसिम है मेरा या मेरा रफीक...
मेरे एहसास से अलग तो नहीं...
खुली नज़रों से देखा कोई सपना शायद..
मेरी आरज़ू का कातिब शायद...
मेरा वजूद उससे जुदा तो नहीं...
लिखता है वो काफूर सा मेरा अफसाना...
कागज़ नहीं कलम भी नहीं...
मदहोश हूँ मैं मेरी ही आज़ में...
वो नहीं तो फिर मैं भी नहीं...

Trivia...

Way too many posts that I want to write about the reason I write this blog, regrets of when you give in to social niceties (realized I should never do that for my own sanity), how much it hurts to know people close to you don’t have faith in you, super irritated at all and sundry who make it their business to know why I am single and not married yet (to them – please look at your own lives for any introspection whatsoever – my life is none of your business).

On the positive I really enjoyed my French class and look forward to reading an actual book in French and understanding it all. And atleast one person i know does believe in me (yes its a huge deal). And finally I realized I have moved on. Cheers to me :)

My kind of place...

How important it is for some people to appear that they are just and right and that they would never hurt anyone knowingly or unknowingly. The key word here is “appear”. The hypocrisy is blatant. I mean if you are being selfish at least have the guts to own up to it. It really gets to me. What if we lived in utopia and people were straightforward and would not hide behind silly excuses. I mean don’t they realize that people are not stupid and can actually see past their “appear to be caring” demeanor.

I think I have officially lost my faith in humanity…

Self Marketing

The thing about blogs, facebook, twitter and the rest of the jing-bang of social media is that it gives voice to everyone…even those who have nothing of consequence to say. I know all hell just might break loose and the people who slapped 22 cases on Khushboo might decide to do the same to me for even trying to be in the vicinity of “free speech”. But then we all know how free India is in its free speech ;)

Anyways before I digress to the point of no return, the in thing these days is to unabashedly tom-tom about your lack of any talent whatsoever. The only talent of any consequence the person will have is to write bragging statements about self. The worst thing about this is that most often than not the people who have things to say are the quieter folks who will keep their talent and views to themselves or at least not display it on their forehead, worst actually on their status messages. So the ones gaining prominence and becoming page 3 are the ones we would have dusted under the carpet had the not been so in your face thanks to the “this revolution called social media”.

Fickle Minded…

These are restless days. Sometimes you are just forced to think. The seemingly logical balance you had maintained with everything goes all haywire. My dissonance is attributed to some recent happenings in my life. It is making me wonder. Were all those relations and friendships in which I invested time, energy, emotions and years so fickle, so transient, so inconsequential. What is it that I do not understand?

Complexity of relations in this “socially networked” world…

When virtual profiles have become extension of our self it isn’t shocking to expect to relationships to spill into the virtual world as well. While we humans are still trying to learn the complexities of the real relations (and miserably failing at that if I may add) how would we ever deal with this added dimension…

Though I embraced the social networks yet I am quite wary of them and now and again I have this urge to kill my online presence. I am still not too sure why I haven’t done it already. Normally I would not prefer to make my emotions public where all and sundry can discover all there is to know about me by just reading my profile. Similarly I would not let my personal relations with people in real life affect my connections in the virtual world. But the recent events have forced me to reconsider. Do we connect with ex of a friend after a disastrous breakup. Isn’t that like giving my approval or feigning ignorance at what happened? Do I want to judge people in their virtual realities? Come to think of it would I meet my friend’s ex for drinks? I think not.

Do we need to redefine why we like cinema…LSD

My love for movies grew gradually and over long period of time. While in my teens and throughout my childhood I hardly saw movies. Some old English classics which mom got for us and some movies that doordarshan showed that are the gems of Hindi cinema (but I was too young to appreciate). It was only after I moved to Bangalore and started hanging out with the “intellectuals” in IISc that I discovered cinema and international at that. Discovered Von Trier, Kielowski, Tarkowsky, Bergman etc. And then thanks to these friends who used to watch movies till wee hours of the morning in the lab instead of working on the project as they were supposed to, I saw some beautiful offbeat English cinema. And then with my ex-roommate turned psycho I stumbled onto this beautiful world of regional Indian cinema which to tell you the truth has no equal. And now with my sis I am rediscovering those gems of Hindi cinema. But all this while movies that appealed were always high on emotions, deep with several layers, actors par excellence, direction and editing that would leave you spell bound, music and lyrics that would haunt you even in your dreams.

And now it is Love, sex aur dhoka…

LSD will blow you away. You will struggle to understand why you like the movie. Is it the trashy reality of our lives or are we just giving into the baser emotion of voyeurism? Even after being flooded with the reality shows which you know are not real the movie is gripping. It’s an experiment which has been thought about and planned to the last detail. I admire the precision with which the movie is shot. The three stories connect like an Agatha Christie novel where you understand the intricacies only when the director deigns to reveal them to you. It definitely opens a whole new vista of film making. I do not need to say much about the three stories which to me are just incidental. The movie is definitely not defined by them and for all I care it could have been a cat-mouse chase. Its a smart movie that goes way beyond in an attempt to define entertainment. Watch it without any preconcieved notion.

Highly recommended.

Hadsaa tha guzar gaya hoga...tum kiske jaane ki baat karte ho...

Not that i want to write a sad depressing post but that being the state of mind currently i cant help but write about that...i have always treated my friends with utmost respect and with me its always all or nohing...and yet time and again i see myself loosing out...so someone will say learn from it...and its not for lack of trying...but this seems to be such a fundamental part of my being that even if i try i cant seem to be able to do it...and so here i am again reading this mail and feeling miserable...

I am so sorry. I am the worst guy ever. I don't deserve such a caring person like you. Somehow I thought our tempers were the concern, but I guess my stupidity was.

Apologies. Wish you the best. You deserve the best.

the thing that hurts the most is that this person has been mu closest friend for years now or atleast i thought so...someone who has seen all the ups and downs...who knows what i live through...has seen me struggle...and still it was just a mail for him...

some words are so easy to say...and still i can never say them...bad state of affairs right now...nothing seems to be helping...

The fourth Dozakh…Ismat says

But Jugnu said that if I sang the glory of Ram my tongue would burn in dozakh...On the other hand the coachman used to say that if I did not sing the glory of Shri Ram Chandra I would end up in narak…I was in deep trouble. Indira used to say that if I didn’t kneel and repent for my sins in front of the statue of Jesus Christ, I would go straight to hell. I was not ready to go to any of the three locations.

……

This must be a fourth place, this sasural, related to dozakh, narak and hell.

It’s Complicated…

Even before I begin this, I have a confession…I love Meryl Streep…she is easily the most beautiful actress of our times and oh boy has she aged gracefully or what…and what a wonderful actress…the ease with which she takes on the characters as if that’s what she is…it’s sheer pleasure to watch her…

And now about the movie…there is something endearing to see the old romancing…it feels like the real thing…not the “in your pants before I even met you” or “the geek the cheerleader the soccer captain triangle”…after staying together close to two decades when two people move apart how do they move on or find closure…especially when you have no just shared lives and have seen each other growing up but also have had children together…at some point in the movie Jane (Meryl Streep) says to Jack (Alec Baldwin) – we have each grown into the person we wanted to become…it would be so much easier if couples would separate after the first few years and then get back together much later in life…

Meryl Streep shares such superb chemistry with both Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin that you feel you are witnessing real life and not a story on silver screen…Even though the movie is kitsch yet it’s absolutely worth a watch…

Karthik Calling Karthik

I think it’s very tough to look at movies in isolation without comparing them to the world cinema one has seen and is aware of. But also sometimes given the context of a particular culture\country\industry we should look at movies in a limiting context.

Given that background if I look at KCK reducing the universe only to Bollywood (and not even the extremely vast reserves of regional cinema India has), the movie is impressive. Farhan Akhtar manages the transition from an invisible loser in life to a high flying yuppie quite well. The movie does have a suspense element which the director has successfully carried throughout the film almost till the end. You don’t realize how quickly the harmless phone transitions to an object of terror. The movie is quite crisp. And though it’s the story of the man “Karthik” the love angle with Deepika has been woven without stretching it or giving it more shades then required.

The role suits Farhan and he has played it without melodrama. Deepika on the other hand has all of two expressions in her acting repertoire. She does compensate it with the fact that she looks pleasantly gorgeous and looks good no matter what she adorns.

While the editing is crisp and almost manages nail-biting suspense at one or two places, it does have a few stereotypes. The depiction of the therapist for one is very Freudian and kitsch and could have done with some research. I wish the director had actually met a shrink and observed how she functions. Another disappointment is that I doubt if people associated with the movie even understood the details of what entails a mental disorder. What is schizophrenia or MPD? What are the symptoms? How it manifests itself in a person? I wish the script writer and the actress playing the shrink had bothered just “googling” it – it would have taken the film to a different level itself.

3 Idiots

(wrote it way back and forgot to post :))

So my friend wanted to catch a glimpse of Aamir Khan for real…and that’s how it all began…the last minute tickets…the crazy energy levels at work just waiting to leave…the mad rush to the theater…and the endless wait rushing from corner to corner to catch a glimpse…well we finally got a look and my friend almost swooned…well now that’s an exaggeration…she was superbly calm ;)

There is this genre of films which paint a picture perfect life…even the downs are better than the real life ups…and of course its happily ever after…and I shamelessly accept that I love such movies…I love spending those two hours in a dream world which has nothing whatsoever to do with reality…yeah it’s the ideal world, the utopia I want…the dream I live every waking moment of my life…

Rajkumar Hirani has done it with brilliance, once again…college days are especially happy days for almost all of us…reminds us what it was like to be young…hostels, seniors and ragging, exams and assignments, getting crazily drunk, giving it all up for friends, the pranks and crushes…you’ll love it all…supremely idealistic and unreal (after all how many are born Einstein…) but will nevertheless take you to that euphoric place where you will laugh and cry (just laugh actually) with the characters…even if for a moment the movie inspires to take you that leap towards your dream…

The best thing about this movie is the perfection…all characters are etched with brilliance down to the minutest details…it’s a pleasure to watch the chem lab experiment which did not blow up in our face and got us a straight A in school…that sums up the movie for me.

राहें...

not really what i want to stay...somehow am not able to put it into words...a very feeble attempt...

कदम जब चले थे, राहें आवारा थी
सोचा था शायद कोई किस्सा मिल जाएगा कहीं...
और कोई नहीं तो मेरा ही सही
वो आगाज़ था मेरी तिश्नगी का...
उन दिनों
रातें गुमशुदा थीं और दिन खानाबदोश
मैं दीवानगी में चलती रही और देख ही ना पाई की
हर रास्ता उसी मोड़ पे आकर रुकता है
जहाँ से मैंने शुरुआत की थी...

Scum of humanity...

Was reading leading tabloid today…two news that caught my attention and highlight the rot that our society has become…

First was the headlines where a 11 year old committed suicide…a child a mere 11 year old…what does the kid know about life and death…how does a kid decide that the life is not worth living…a similar incident had happened when I was doing my masters five years ago…a 10 year old child had hanged himself because his father had scolded him…child suicides is the biggest fall out of the idiot box…the collateral damage for our need to fill our time with inane news and the meaningless soap operas…I seriously want to know what has happened to us that we are so restless all the time…that we can’t slowdown and have to fill every single waking moment with some worthless shit that does not do any good except for filling the empty spaces…what is it that I have learned from watching the television for all these years…

Second even more horrifying was the news of a gang-rape of a five year old…A FIVE YEAR OLD…this is the absolute muck of the society that we tolerate…I am sure if we do a survey child molestation will be more common in India than western world…mostly because it gets tolerated and unreported here…and the awareness the onus on parents to safeguard their children is considerably lower…how many of us live with the presumption that such incident will happen to at least everyone (especially women) once in their lifetimes if not more…I recently did some research on “sting operation” where police creates a scenario where potential criminals are tempted to commit crime…of course there are moral and legal arguments for and against this…but when I look at such heinous crimes, I can’t help but agree for the need to have such operations…and catch these bastards before they even think of committing such dastardly acts…