I am feeling so “something” that I just had to write and hopefully get it out of my system. But the thing is I don’t even know where to begin. Sometimes people take such moral high ground in life and it’s just not even moral, its philosophical, experiential, practical…everything…maybe they have done it all and seen it all… maybe they have every reason in the world to take that high ground but the fact is no one has the right to do that…and the fact is that you care about them too much to go and fight with them over it…but in the process they end up walking all over you…making judgments…stereotyping…deciding what will make you succeed and not succeed in life…who decides that the way you are living your life is best and optimal…that your reactions are best or worst for that matter…that only if you figure out this or that you will forever be happy…I personally don’t really agree with the way so many people close to me live their lives…but it’s their lives…at best I can express my opinion…do I have a right to force them to change…I don’t think so…for all I know what I think about the way life should be lived is all wrong…the only fact that’s probably true in all this is that I care so much about that person that whatever I say will be with his\her best interests in mind…but still do I have the right to sit on judgment…I don’t think so…
Another tricky thing is expectation…what’s the thin line between expecting and not expecting…I do know you are most happy when you don’t have an expectation from anyone…not even yourself…or so the sages say…but is that actually true…how do you get close to people otherwise…there would at least be a least set of expectations…for e.g. you will expect your partner to take care of you in sickness or health…or be there for you…if you don’t even have this minimal expectation then what’s the point of having someone share your life…from your friends you will expect that they will be supportive of you no matter what you do…not try to change you but be there even if what you are doing doesn’t make sense to them…is this too high an expectation…and if it is then why don’t we make a list of expectations which are acceptable…no confusion in life after that…it’s ok to expect your friends to be there for you when you are sick but it’s not ok to expect your friends to be there for you when it’s your birthday…like when Carrie calls up Miranda in “Sex and the City” (when she is just about to go and meet Mr. Big again inspite of the fact that he broke her heart) and says something like…though I know what I am doing is the worst thing in the world and I will end up an emotional wreck, but I have to do this and I can only do it if I know you are there for me when I am a wreck…
