fast forward...

see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while
you belong to me...

i had this friend and though the relationship has been very complex between us...i thought the basic thing between us was honesty and that we shared everything in our lives...now i can see that wasnt the case...i just feel so betrayed...seems like all the relations in my life i trusted were not true...my trust was blind or maybe i was blind not to see this...

i could have done without this today...

expectations...

happiest are those who don't expect anything from anyone...so has been said in all the Vedas and such texts...by all saints and wise people...

how to get to that stage when you don't have any expectations...does it also mean that you should not expect anything from yourself as well...and if that's the case then what is the purpose of living and that too surrounded by people...why interact at all...why not live in a vacuum...or not live at all...

i always struggle to set this boundary of expectations both with myself and with others...i know that we don't have any control over how others behave...the only thing we can at best control is our own reaction and thoughts...

selfishness...

i hate to keep myself in the array of so called feminists who blame all the ills of the world on men...but more and more these days i keep on seeing instances of inherent selfishness amongst men...

i think, evolutionarily a woman's important role is to give birth and take care of the infant...and to achieve this she has to be selfless at some level...just think of the child and not herself...and that evolutionarily probably makes women a little less selfish then men...this gives her an empathetic attitude towards humanity…men on the other hand had to evolutionarily take care and provide for the family…they had to go out and grab what was not necessarily theirs and that inherently makes them selfish…

today when women have become more and more self sufficient and provide for themselves…the contrast is very sharp…men are still living in that primal world…I just see this all around me…so many instances of heartless selfishness…

what a waste...

akelapan hai ki jaata hi nahin hain...sab kuch jaante hua bhi aisa lagta hai ki jaisa mera kuch pichhe choot gaya...

somone will ask me...why that person who didnt care a damn about me...who was and is dishonest, liar, selfish and manipulative...

i am wasting myself and my life...